it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
