haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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