Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
