if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
