Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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