FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
