I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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