could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
