and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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