Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
