so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
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