with your own penis?
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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