Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Ladies don't puke and tell
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
