oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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