We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
