Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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