We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
my phone needs a breathalizer
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Panties = found
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
