i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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