that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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