Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
