Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
