Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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