i wish my penis had a tongue
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
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