we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
