i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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