spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
