he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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