TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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