guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
