He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
