He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Someone shit on the floor
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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