dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
