Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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