wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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