no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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