I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
so let's talk penis.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
