I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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