So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
My liver just had a heart attack.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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