those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Randomize
