I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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