dude i'm inner monologue high
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
only if we run a train.
done.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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