cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
