Ambien. No doubt about it.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
