she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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