Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
