I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
