we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
