Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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