he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
