it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
