The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
