Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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