dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
