I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
