Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize