I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
