it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
