I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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