Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
