thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
