but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
