He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
