if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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