plz talk dirty to me
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You are a genius and a whore.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize